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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2021 :  14:37:40  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply


Grasping unrepeatable opportunity
with slight calculation of risk.

Confidence inspiring illusionists
trade me secrets in alleys
with no conception of danger.

I needed a shovel to dig into my psyche
and found within myself a reason,
and an excuse.
I have everything I need, but
I Wanted this one true thing.

I have obliterated my tracks, but
If I go to jail, send me a file in a fruitcake.

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Ailinn
Windchimer

2245 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2021 :  17:11:00  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
A few stray cousins and the San Diego Fair through 4th of July. Thirty nine food booths and counting. Smokey barbecue turkey legs. Bloomin' onions. Deep-fried brownies from Chicken Charlie's. Dipped in batter. Dipped in Buffalo Sauce and pineapple. Topped with two scoops of Vanilla ice cream. Lots of stuff in cones and on sticks. Seaside Exhibit Halls. Tractors and old-time candy. Custom toe rings and Vitamix blenders. Get your Fortune told. 360 view from the fast Ferris wheel. Fistful of tickets. Ride at night.
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2245 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2021 :  17:14:29  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
After miles of bluebonnets, sweet tree-lined lanes. Grass growing up under park benches. House on the corner. Flag over the porch. Geraniums in boxes at the windows. Brimful longing. No guardrails in his eyes. His laugh when she touches his face.

Edited by - Ailinn on 07/18/2021 13:08:31
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/15/2021 :  12:11:10  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
1971. Nighttime Near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania.
Snow up to the knees, ungloved thumb out.
Finally, got a ride in the back of an old battleship
with long black windowless sides
and black windowless rear doors,
and I slowly realized it was, in fact, a hearse.

I laid down in the back, crossed my arms,
melted and tried to stay alive.
I remember thinking that all I needed
was a cross and some flowers.
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Joe Z
Windchimer

USA
1820 Posts

Posted - 06/15/2021 :  18:06:05  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Hey Ro,

I love the San Diego fair, and those smokey barbecue turkey legs are to die for. We saw Judy Collins there two or three years ago.

Love ya,

Joe
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San Diego
Swinger

515 Posts

Posted - 06/15/2021 :  22:02:36  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Joe, I thought of you immediately. California officially "opened" same day as the Fair. Kids like corks popping out of the bottle. Hope life is treating you kindly. Lots of love to the Bakersfield boy.

Ro
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/18/2021 :  02:53:16  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
All of creation has been waiting for this moment.
All of creation has been wanting someone just like you.

All of creation, evolution and a trick of time have
made us all into the most important people in the
history of the universe.

All of creation has left you alone on this island of time
with an imperfect body and mind and a
burning desire for more.

All of creation, evolution and the Gods gave you was
a heart full of gold, a head full of sin and a memory
of everything that came before.

All of creation and the Gods are watching and waiting
for what you will do next.

Surprise them.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/18/2021 :  02:55:33  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Hello Joe Z!
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2021 :  07:20:27  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply


I’m living somewhere to the left of Mars these days.

I disregard the power of dragons.
But, then again I have been a mistaken fool
much of my life.
Still, Echoes of vanished generations
call down the years for me to fight on.

I have a leaning towards obsession,
But not like the evangelical zealots of our time
who when something is not to their liking scream,
“Blame will be scattered like confetti.”
Assholes.
Those people had a hold on me for my
first 14 years, like a cult.
I must say, at 69, I’m long over the fun of it.

Whiskey and drugs work quicker than
faith in eternity anyway.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2021 :  07:33:31  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply


Rivers of tears. Banks overflowing.
Fallen onto knees worn from crawling.

I wept for the lost opportunities, the years wasted.
I wept for the deals with the devil,
the payback never ending.
I wept for my family, my friends, my love,
My boy.
I longed to have known them better.
I wept for those who had cared for me,
believed in me, cheered for me.

Finally I wept for myself. The potential lost.
The lives barely touched. The worlds barely known.
The friends left behind, crushed by unresponsiveness.

Serenity’s a place as yet unknown.
Making amends a distant hope.

Kneeling, I asked for another try
at a second chance.

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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 06/24/2021 :  03:59:12  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
When I was six, I wanted to be like the
heroes I’d watch on our eight inch
Black and white TV, in the tiny apartment
in Johnstown, where we all waited
for the next big flood.

My favorite was the official
Davy Crockett coon-skin cap
with the tail that warmed the back
of my neck on those cold
Western Pennsylvania nights.

Now at 69, I have a long ponytail
that kind of does the same thing.
From high atop beautiful Mt Ivy,
in the middle of an endless night,
I shake my hair tail in a wave,
in the direction of
down-through-the-decades…
Here’s to you Fess Parker.
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2245 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2021 :  18:59:31  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Hypnagogia. Freefall. Hallucination. "The flood of images you see just before falling asleep," he says. He doesn't believe hallucination. He believes past and future-life memory. "...a connection..." he says, "...a bridge." "A long hall of mirrored doors," she says, "may be unbearable."
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2245 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2021 :  19:06:31  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Blue-lit dawns. Stars through the window. Fading. Moving on. Early tugs huffing on the Hudson. Manhole covers pushing steam. Day and night something alive there. Bagels on the corner before First Call. Conover threatens to fire me for doing catalog shoots. Star puts her fingers to her lips, eyes wide with Shhh! She grows mint for her tea on the fire escape in Campbell's soup cans. "You need a chaperone," she says later. I need a room key. The hotel's anonymity. They keep me on because I can stay still a long time in clothes stuffed with tissue that scratches.
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2245 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2021 :  19:12:04  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Badlands. They leave the car at the arroyo and start walking. There are beings out there. Free. Fleeing in the night with their shimmer and ferocious memory. They feel them. Hear their scratchy flight across alluvial fans. Their astral music flute-like through sandstone caves. Lunar portals lit from within. Pulse of the great Milky Way wide around them.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 07/02/2021 :  13:43:31  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
A waiting room just outside of limbo.

To be repeatedly forgiven destroys the soul,
the devouring anxiety of the insecure,
damaging everyone in it’s path.

Fuzzily inefficient demon kings,
making what best we can of our
imperfect evolution.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2021 :  08:17:16  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Awaiting events.

Audacious little fiddles in curtained booths.
Porkpie hats easing through the back door.
Hat-check girl with eyes of midnite.
Leather and lead sap in my left pocket,
Artillery in the right.

Slapstick thugs from a bad movie,
staring at me.
I tried hard to look human.
The plot persisted in thickening.

Serenity, peace and contentment
were for suckers;
I opened the door marked Keep Out.
The room spun once and began to fade.

Nearer my God to thee flashed in neon.
Everything went black…

Edited by - buckman on 07/12/2021 18:30:30
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 07/06/2021 :  16:30:22  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply


Long-haired chinchillas at the feet of
Ineffective-looking shootists
living their memories in the here and now.
She said, “‘Hold your breath,
the statute of limitations is almost
out of sight.’”

Snow-topped peaks glistening
with the strong lure of
high mysterious frozen places.

Dramatic revelations from outside sources.
Scramble the plot heading for the grand finale.
A shaft of light from my memory;
From the top of my head to the end of the line.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2021 :  22:08:18  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
The missing apostrophes are driving me crazy.
It wasn’t a long drive.

But,
Tomorrow’s world, that’s where interests lay now
Not the past.

**** your apostrophes, your commas,
your periods. **** your and you’re and
they’re and their.
Yo momma. Yo, Old man with the stupid grey ponytail.
It’s not your father’s ****in Pontiac
Anymore.

Get over it.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2021 :  22:10:48  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
The old church made me sweat, thinking of my
teenaged dad shovelling coal into the furnace
during the depression, helping his dad,
who had lost everything except their little farm and his
janitors job at the church.

Now my dad was the preacher at the little church
in New Jersey. Mom would play the piano
and I would play my cornet while the little crowd sang
Great is Thy Faithfulness.

It was the Fifties, but I saw it all in color.
It definitely wasn’t in black and white.

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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 07/10/2021 :  16:23:53  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
A Pilgrim’s Regress?

Has all the fun gone out of me?
Or is it still bubbling along inside, just deeply buried.
This getting old stuff is not for the feint of heart,
Is it?

I am thrilled to have a partner with me
that I love, to go forward with and support
each other’s joys and pains.
But there is only so much another can do,
isn’t there? No matter how good they are
or how hard they try.
Or how much love there is.

When my legs work (a little) and my insides
don’t hurt (too much), I even make an effort
to shake my dimness into something
resembling the old spark; the almost unbearable
nostalgia for the laughing boy that once was.

Like everybody on the planet, I suppose,
it is a work in progress.
But I can only speak for me;
It seems like every damn day we have to learn
how to live all over again.
And it’s taking forever…
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