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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2018 :  08:35:23  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
I hear the whispers everywhere
Some I almost recognize
Her red hair on her shoulders
Her fingers on my thighs.

[Baby don't want to leave me
I'm living enough for two,
The whiskey helps the pills go down
What's a proud man gonna do?]

It's only when they're talking
That my mind seems to work at all,
She brought the glory to October
In the Hudson Valley fall.

[We drove across those amber plains
Nuthin but loving on our minds,
The music helped the pain go down
We followed the white lines.]

She loved to talk to Mickey
They'd cough and wheeze all night
There were nights when we were almost sane
There were days the sun was bright.

[Baby don't want to leave me
I'm living enough for two,
The whiskey helps the pills go down
What's a proud man gonna do?]

Every night about this time
The whispers seem to stop
She left a nightgown on my door
The other shoe won’t drop.

[We drove across those amber plains
Nuthin but loving on our minds,
The music helped the pain go down
We were two times two of a kind.]

I hear the whispers everywhere
Some I almost recognize
Her red hair on her shoulders
Her fingers on my thighs.
Ghosts of memories don't linger
I chant that every night
Waiting for a day when I'm almost sane
And a night when the stars are bright.



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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 11/17/2018 :  19:34:38  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Late light dissolving in the channel under the trestle bridge. White rooms. White walls with pegs by the door. Santa Fe fireplace in the corner. Enough heat for now. Salt-weathered deck where they watch the Sugar Land dredgers moving sand by the ton. A permanent egret in the lagoon. Cattails. Ship lights on the water. His easels draped and undraped. His impetuous palette. His brushes hanging upside-down. His fingerprints on the cupboards and closet door. "Well, now..." he says. Later they sip old tequila and listen to the little sparrow sing No Regrets. Mail on the hall table unopened for weeks.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 11/18/2018 :  00:28:44  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Murmers turn into whispers
Whispers turn into cries.
A scream heads for forever
In the valley of darkening skies.
Summer's oven blows full blast
The sound is now a shout
Hazy hot and humid
You're heading for a drought.

It's not the age that matters
It's the mileage on your soul
It's making all the pieces fit
That make the damn thing whole.
Did you lose him in a snowstorm?
Did you lose her in the rain?
Did you lose him to the laughter?
Did you lose her to the pain?

Did you share in her last sorrow?
Did you heal another's grief?
Some mornings brings you mercy
Some midnites bring a thief.
They have no clock they keep for you
To tell you when you'll heal
Some mornings find you dancing
Some nights you have to kneel.

It's not the age that matters
It's the mileage on your soul
It's making all the pieces fit
That make the damn thing whole.

Every river you've run so far
Has brought you to this place
The days and nights you've struggled
Full of folly, full of grace.
Redemption has a taste to it
It's like honey on your tongue
The musky smell of romance
When all the bells have rung

Murmers turn into whispers
Whispers turn into cries.
A scream heads for forever
In the valley of darkening skies.




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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2018 :  01:04:23  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
It's a Helluva thing,
Infantile paralysis of the soul.

Hardening of the hearteries.
Fear in the dead of nite
so real it has teeth.

Immunity temporarily misplaced.
Drastic change daily.

Pendulums fight for the last spot on stage.
Terry-cloth cavaliers catch lost generations.
Home on the range on the carnival calliope.
Many rivers crossed but still swimming.

Do ya
do ya
do ya
wanna dance
under the moonlight?



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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2018 :  15:23:44  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
THANKSGIVING DAY WITH RALPH [THE HUDSON RIVER BiPOLAR BEAR]
AND REV BUCKMAN

Ralph [[ the Hudson River BiPolar bear]] was downstairs dancing to Ray Charles singing Eleanor Rigbyand watching dirty movies on cable...

I said, Ralphie, what are you thankful for?

He said, [[ Um, Jameson's, Ray Charles and, uh, dirty movies...]]

Wow, I said, you really have a small window you look out of, don't you?

Rev Buckman was sitting out back just staring at the woods...
I said, Rev, how about you?

He said, between God the Devil and you,
everything I have ever loved has been taken from me.
The baby, the women.... The pills...
Just what I gotta be thankful for?

I said, You are lucky that I don't kill you off,
you can be thankful for that, okay, curmudgeon?

I said, Guys, listen up...
Today is the day when Americans go to the storeroom of their souls and take an inventory and appreciate what they have that many, many others do not...

I said, it's a tradition and it's one of those things that let's us stop for a minute and look back and look ahead and kind of put a pin in the map of the Universe that says, YOU ARE HERE.

Then I thanked the Gods that I sometimes talked to and sometimes even talked to me, for being alive and sober for one more day...

That's it.
They know the rest,
that's why they got the job as Gods...

Besides, everything else is just gravy...



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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2018 :  18:09:13  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
"Listen..." he says. His voice through American wire. She's not even cautious. Knows everything burns and, "...once upon a time takes forever..." Outdoor cafes. Rental cars in airport garages. Jet spooling up on the runway. Direct flight. No layover when you're afraid to fly.
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2018 :  18:20:37  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Her head bowed. Her hair falling. Her fingers playing with the tortoise shell comb he found at Batiquitos Lagoon. "...so hard for you to say...?" he says. Psychiatrist or a good Priest. Shining childhood. Croquet lawns. Cobbled corners and clock towers. High-bannister widow's walks. Like smash cuts in film. Covert damage. Consequence without cause. Later gargoyles. Her own Rosary. A scatter of rice on the floor. Kneel now. Every thought a venial sin or more. Klieg lights. Express elevator in the hotel. Room Service coffee on-call. The Park. The Planetarium. The Knight with the star. Random wolves in the diorama rooms. The man in the moon on the fire escape. The game of don't think now. He wants it all. Not the way she tells it. Flat without inflection. Smiling in the wrong places. He has the stories but he wants what's behind the words. She knows why. A deep breath. Tears on her ivory blouse. His inviolate trust. One and only.

Edited by - Ailinn on 01/10/2019 17:42:45
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2018 :  18:31:37  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
"...think before you touch the cards..." he says. "Your energy... Where you want it to go." He cuts the deck and taps it with two fingers. So much at stake when he grins. There's fog over the sink. Red blur of the hummingbird feeder. Light dripping off the ice plant. Kokopelli drunk in the yard. "You first..." she says when fate intervenes and the room becomes slightly unmoored. "Two outta three..." he laughs after the first game.

Edited by - Ailinn on 07/13/2019 17:14:35
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 11/23/2018 :  17:43:41  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Love went from forever to memories
In the time it took them to blink
Romance is just a wisp of smoke
It disappears when you stop to think.

They fit together, damaged and broken.
Eyes wide open, dreams unspoken
Hearts left alone get tired and weak
Turn hard and cold, no breath left to speak

Forever to memories in the blink of an eye,
Happily ever after falling out of the sky,
Do dreams become wishes and wishes become lies?
Surrender's alright, we see with more than our eyes.

Eyes were recognized, stumbling round in the dark
Unfamiliar explosions, dancing on sparks,
Nights they went crazy, the days they went sane,
Desire fed the river that drowned out the pain

The same spirits haunt them both at night
Whispering shadows, doubts and fears.
Yesterday's hopes are tomorrow's choices
Moments of passion, hours of tears.

Forever to memories in the blink of an eye,
Happily ever after falling out of the sky,
Dreams become wishes and wishes become lies,
Surrender's alright, we see with more than our eyes.



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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2018 :  09:11:44  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
The evening comes
but never soon enough.
As I watch the last sliver of sun
disappear behind the mountain
she opens the door.

The room is filled by the scent of woman
and vanilla.
As she fits her small body onto mine
I said,
Why did you come back?

She said,
I told you you'd never see me again,
But if it's dark... well....

Then her voice got husky and
I stopped thinking about writing a poem...



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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/02/2018 :  18:57:48  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
We took all the children to Anza Borrego to see the meteor shower and Ricardo Breceda's metal mirage. Raptors. Mammoths, scorpions, and dinosaurs. Creatures fifteen feet tall with sickle teeth randomly appearing on the desert floor. A three hundred fifty foot long dragon crossing the road. We walked to some but drove to most. Objects are farther than they appear. After midnight we settled in a wide wash to watch the Phaethon meteor show from the asteroid Palladian. Geminids in the night sky. Like ballroom globes with glittering dust trails. Anza Borrego is a dark sky designation. I think of people who cross the desert at night and don't know the sculptures are there.

Edited by - Ailinn on 12/03/2018 09:24:59
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/02/2018 :  19:04:30  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
He paints what he sees around him. But this is different. Eerily beautiful. And foreboding. "From memory...?" she asks, bemused. He pauses with the brush, "...their longships..." he says, "...were the most seaworthy." Oars in the water. Weight of history there. Stem and stern dragons. Square emblem sails. Flinty light off the shields on the gunwales. A fleet of them coming in. A woman in a modern-day dress on the shore waving.

Edited by - Ailinn on 03/14/2021 18:58:43
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/02/2018 :  19:08:43  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
It's the past inside-out. The rusty keys. The tracks and the crossroads. Abandoned or chosen. The Interstate at the corner. The storm in his traveler's eyes. "Episodic..." he says, "...know what I'm sayin'...?" The kettle on. The kitchen warming. The life that's here and now.
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/02/2018 :  19:12:30  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
All bloom in the fevered garden. Green seasons inside him naming the names. His glass-like language and uncomplicated goodness. Chutes of light through the trees ocean-wide on the cliff side. No other voices but their own.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 12/04/2018 :  11:02:00  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
You are a treasure.


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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 12/04/2018 :  11:06:21  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply

I told her,
I've been crazy for forty six years now.
Even remember when it first came on,
like a breeze that made me put my collar up
and huddle into my coat.

It was a Friday night in Nyack, 1966,
in front of the St George Hotel on Burd Street.
Sitting in a car with friends, drinking a beer.

The world didn't shake and the radio didn't stop playing,
but I knew part of me had slipped into something new,
different and scary and it wasn't just the one of me
in there anymore.

People say, You've always had a job.
People say, You raised a family [sort of].
People don't know.
Most of them.

Point is, I told her,
After awhile, you can get good at anything,
even madness.

It just takes practice....



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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/04/2018 :  19:44:01  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
Happy year.
Sorry I'm late.
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buckman
Firefly

USA
2872 Posts

Posted - 12/06/2018 :  01:57:04  Show Profile  Visit buckman's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
It started as just a stumble
But before long it was an all out fall
He was back on the whiskey
She was back dancing in the halls
In a storm started out in a fire
The flames just built 'til they got higher and higher
He was born to die an addict and a fool and
She was born to die a liar

They could never keep their eyes on the prize
Mouths always just above the water
Working all day and fighting all night
The weeks swallowed up the years
And one by one it all just turned harder
Some say he just snapped one day
Others never saw him disappear
I thought he drove straight into the river
But that night my vision wasn't all that clear

There always was a rumble
From dusk til dawn's early light
What made them burn as lovers
Made the fire feed off of the fights
It started as just a stumble
But before long it was an all out fall
He was back on the whiskey
She was back dancing in the halls

There was never time to enjoy what they had
They spent it all treading water
The weeks swallowed up the years
And one by one it all just turned harder
Some say he just snapped one day
Others never saw him disappear
I thought he drove straight into the river
But that night my vision wasn't all that clear

They could never keep their eyes on the prize
Mouths always just above the water
Working all day and fighting all night
The weeks swallowed up the years
And one by one their hearts just got harder



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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/15/2018 :  17:01:27  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
We took the children to the boat parade last Sunday. Past the Star of India and the Embarcadero to Coronado Landing. A spectacle of light on the water. Sailboats are the most beautiful. And the Star's masts lit high against the San Diego skyline. We do it again tomorrow night after we pick up the cousins. Revolving door on the house. Musical chairs in the kitchen.

Edited by - Ailinn on 11/20/2019 15:17:46
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Ailinn
Windchimer

2249 Posts

Posted - 12/15/2018 :  17:09:13  Show Profile  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Delete Reply
"...again...?" he says when the match is over. But hasn't he already taken advantage by choosing first? And he's a fair man. But this isn't a matter of fair or tact. When the sun drops below the window sill she'll move toward him with her benign smile and long lashes and he'll think he's sure to win. That thought is with her when he ups the ante, "Double or nothin'," he grins.

Edited by - Ailinn on 07/13/2019 17:15:55
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